November 29, 2022
No LynkSif
November 25, 2022
No LynkSif
November 21, 2022
No LynkSif
November 16, 2022
No LynkSif
November 15, 2022
No LynkSif
November 12, 2022
No LynkSif
November 12, 2022
No LynkSif
August 01, 2022
No LynkSif
July 27, 2022
No LynkSif
July 19, 2022
No LynkSif
July 16, 2022
No LynkSif
July 12, 2022
No LynkSif
July 02, 2022
No LynkSif
Your coziest nights with bae are spent at home. You love snuggling up on your couch, putting on your favorite TV shows, and chatting about your days together. In fact, you're already planning to spend Valentine's Day at home and celebrate over dinner, drinks, and more cuddling. But, you also want this day to feel a bit more special, which is why you need these Valentine's Day at home ideas that are endlessly sweet.
Typically, you and your SO might go to a restaurant and sit at a table with tons of candles on Feb. 14. You may plan a fun activity such as getting tickets to a comedy show or going ice skating to make this day stand out. Of course, due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, you and your quarantine buddy will be celebrating right at home. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) states that staying home and enjoying experiences virtually is the best way to potentially prevent yourself and others from spreading and/or catching the coronavirus.
Luckily, you can still have an amazing night at home, as long as you and your SO get creative. These Valentine's Day ideas will show you how to create a date you and your partner will never forget.
We only include products that have been independently selected by Elite Daily's editorial team.
1. Watch A Romantic Movie Under String Lights
Making pillow forts will never get old, and enjoying one under starry string lights is even better. So, create a fort with your partner in your living room using couch cushions, fluffy pillows, and blankets. Complete your fort with star-shaped string lights ($7, Etsy) to make you and your partner feel as though you're relaxing under a starry night sky. Then, set up your laptop to stream a romantic movie you haven't seen yet.
2. Paint Pictures For Each Other
If you and your SO are up for an art project, set up a couple of easels in your kitchen or living room with canvases, paint sets, and a variety of brushes. Spend time painting pictures for each other of just about anything you want. Or, if you'd like some painting inspo, follow along with a Bob Ross class on YouTube.
3. Pamper Yourselves While Wearing Bathrobes
If you and your partner enjoy using self-care products, you should spend Valentine's Day in luxe bathrobes while pampering yourselves. This whipped body butter ($28, Agrestal Beauty) will certainly add to a spa-like experience.
4. Create A Home Bistro And Take Pics
Create your own bistro right at home. You and bae can decorate your table with a checkered tablecloth, soy candles, and fancy cutlery. Put on chic attire to make it feel like you're out on the town, and be sure to snap some pictures.
5. Have A Virtual Game Night With Another Couple
Your couple friends are also probably trying to think of what to do on Valentine's Day at home. So, team up with them for a virtual night of games, giggles, and good vibes. Invite them to join you on FaceTime or Zoom. Catch up on life before diving into virtual games like We're Not Really Strangers Card Game ($30, Urban Outfitters).
6. Write Down Your Dreams For The Future
You and your SO might talk about the future a lot. You may have done the dream trend on TikTok, too, to see if your dreams for the future align. Now, it's time to manifest them by grabbing a jar and some slips of paper and writing each dream down. You can add or draw pictures, too, if you really want to get specific about the type of house or car you hope to have. Check back in on the jar next Valentine's Day to see how your dreams are playing out.
7. Try A New Recipe
Preparing new recipes with your partner can be such a fun experience. On Valentine's Day, grab a versatile pan ($145, Our Place) and a cookbook with plenty of recipes for two people, and whip one up for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
February 01, 2021
No LynkSif
Dating is stressful, no matter who you are. Worries like running out of things to talk about, getting spinach caught in your teeth, or having absolutely no chemistry is common. But if you live with anxiety, the stress of dating can feel debilitating. Fortunately, experts agree there are plenty of ways to cope.
These days, the word “anxiety” is so colloquial, it may be hard to understand what having anxiety — a medical condition diagnosed by your doctor — actually entails. According to the Mayo Clinic, “people with anxiety disorders frequently have intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Often, anxiety disorders involve repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks).”
This can make it feel impossible to evaluate how you feel about your dates. “With anxiety, I have so many racing thoughts, which can be extreme,” says Davis*, a Bumble user in Brooklyn. “When it comes to dating, it can be hard for me to pinpoint what are my true, legit feelings about someone or when it’s just the anxiety speaking.”
There's no red flag
According to Haley Neidich, LCSW and therapist at yourtherapist.com, this is common. “Anxious people are over-thinkers who tend to generally be more sensitive than folks who do not struggle with anxiety,” she says. “Many of my clients with anxiety worry about absolutely everything [while dating and] in their relationships. It's the lack of ability to discriminate about what is worth worrying about or focus on that often signifies an anxiety disorder.”
Neidich suggests reminding yourself that if there are no obvious red flags — such as your date dismissing your ideas and beliefs, being rude to your waiter, or lying to you — there's no time limit when it comes to deciding if you like someone. To process your reactions to your date, she recommends a journaling exercise. “If you're someone who second-guesses yourself, spending more time alone in your head trying to figure yourself out isn't ideal.
Get the thoughts and feelings down on paper without the goal of solving the problem. Instead, allow the feelings to move through you and focus on getting it all out,” says Neidich. “Often, we struggle to discern fear from intuition when we are emotionally clogged up, which is why journaling can help you get your emotions out so that you can gain more clarity on your true desires.” A mental health professional can help you learn how to discern your intuition from your anxiety, as well. (For more on that, see below.)
Face your fear
In any case, Neidich suggests being upfront about your anxiety, whether you share that information the first time you meet or after a few dates. “Being honest about it is essential to being in a supportive partnership where you're not shamed or made to feel wrong for having a mental health condition like anxiety,” she says. “If someone responds poorly to that disclosure from the start, you can be certain that this is not the right partner for you, and feel good about moving on without second-guessing.”
However, being honest about your anxiety doesn’t mean you have to reveal every detail all at once, especially not if that prospect seems daunting. “There's no need to disclose everything about your anxiety upfront, but introducing the topic right away is important in order to make sure there is the potential for compatibility,” Neidich points out.
There's a benefit to sharing your experience with anxiety: It can help your date understand you better, and in turn, become a better potential partner for you in the future. “Non-anxious partners often struggle to understand the root of the anxiety or even feel attacked or shamed by the presence of it in their partner, particularly if they have not done work on themselves or taken the time to understand anxiety,” says Neidich. The most important thing for non-anxious partners to understand is that their partner’s anxiety is not about them.
To communicate this clearly, try using “I” statements, suggests Paige Rechtman, LMHC, MEd, EdS, licensed psychotherapist. “Instead of saying something like, ‘You make me anxious when you forget to text,’ start the conversation with 'I,' followed by how you feel. That statement might be, 'I feel worried and scared when I don't hear from you,'" she says. Formulating your statements in this way may help your date or partner become more receptive to what you're saying.
Nedich suggests using a tool from the researcher, author, and speaker Brené Brown to explain your anxiety to a partner. “Brown describes owning your own fears within a partnership by using the following simple phrase: 'The story I'm telling myself is X.' For example, 'The story I'm telling myself is that you being quiet tonight means you're mad at me,'" Neidich explains. She says this formula “is a powerful way to out your anxiety without accusation and creates a beautiful starting point for conversation. This is something that I recommend to all of my couples' counseling clients and is an immensely effective tool.”
And you're not alone
Dating with anxiety is possible; the more you explore the roots of your anxiety, the better you can understand your triggers and communicate your needs to your dates and prospective partners. “Anxiety is often a cover-up for other, deeper emotions that are more difficult for us to acknowledge, like sadness, embarrassment, or insecurity,” says Rechtman. “If you have anxiety, it is so helpful to talk to someone about it, so you can gain more insight into what your worries are truly about, instead of projecting them onto your partner,” she adds. If you don't already work with a therapist to address your anxiety, you may want to consider doing so.
If you don’t have insurance or don’t have insurance that covers mental health services, Breathe2Relax is a free app that can help you work through your thoughts and feelings of anxiety. There are also therapy apps like Talkspace and BetterHelp, which connect you to therapists on an as-needed basis. If you’re looking for a therapist you can build a relationship with, try contacting local colleges in your area and seeing if they have a program where you can speak with a therapist in training at a reduced rate.
Whether or not you seek professional help, know this: If your date makes you feel ashamed of your anxiety, you can feel confident in knowing that person just isn't for you. Learning to trust your own intuition is a powerful tool that will help you throughout your dating journey.
January 31, 2021
No LynkSif
If someone is in a relationship, they introduce their significant other as their boyfriend or girlfriend while others who are not, introduce their partners as 'someone they're dating'. There is a stark difference between dating and being in a relationship. While both are directionally similar, they have subtle signs that make for two very different aspects of being with someone.
Here are some very prominent differences between being in a relationship and dating someone, just in case you're confused.
Mutuality
One of the major differences between dating and relationships is having your own idea about what the two are. While relationships are based on mutual agreement and trust, dating isn't the same. For some, casual dating is not mutual. The idea of exclusivity while with someone may differ. Some people like to exclusively date each other while others like to date other people and don't want to be committed to just one person.
Commitment
This one's a given. Commitment is the key in a relationship, that's why it's a relationship. People commit to stay together and look forward to a future together while dating (mostly) lacks commitment of any sort. The only commitment people may have while they're dating is to get ice cream together, after dinner!
Communication
Communication differs largely in a relationship vs while dating. While you're in a relationship you'll be communicating with your partner often, about every little thing. Be it telling them about the small little details from your past or asking them to snore a little less while they're sleeping! Dating is different. Communication is limited and basic and not too intrinsic. Like deciding where to eat next or a casual banter is something couples who're dating usually indulge in.
Expectations
Of course, expectations vary when you're dating someone or when you're in a relationship. You expect lesser from the person if you're dating them. It's normal for one person to be more into the dynamic than the other person but because you both know it's casual, there are no expectations of the future, etc. with them. A relationship, however, is built on expectations. You expect every little thing from your partner. From patience to even a bright shining future, it's all on autopilot.
Priorities
While both dating and relationships are meaningful, one prioritizes lesser than the other. When you're dating someone you're not necessarily serious about them so you prioritize other things along with them like work, friends, activities, etc. When you're in a relationship, your dynamic with other people might change entirely because the person you're with takes prime importance in your life. They come before family, friends, and even work.
Although these are the five most prominent differences between dating and relationships, there are other tiny little things that make them unique in their own way. All said and done, both are exciting to experience and sometimes the person you're dating can become the partner in your relationship too!
January 27, 2021
No LynkSif
Ah, pick up artists … the ‘fast food’ of relationship coaching. Whether you’re looking for love or just hunting for your next conquest, there’s someone out there willing to tell you how to improve your success rate – and they’ll charge you for the privilege.
In a world that’s getting more complicated every day, it’s understandable that we want some hard and fast answers. After that five-hundredth swipe on Tinder, you could be forgiven for banging your head on the table and screaming, ‘there must be a better way!’ Accordingly, there are people out there selling every sort of dating advice imaginable – from ‘good-guy’ romance tips to quasi-scientific psychological manipulation.
But when it seems too good to be true, it usually is. There are some things about picking up that almost no pick-up artist is going to tell you. These are the ‘hard to swallow’ facts of life that don’t sell well (no matter how realistic they are).
In the interests of saving your love life (and your sanity) here are five things you really need to know, that you’ll never hear from most so-called ‘experts’.
1. No pick-up technique works for everyone.
…and anyone who says it does is full of shit. Pick-up artists like to make hooking up seem like a process you can control, but in real life, nothing ever goes according to plan. There’s no such thing as a straightforward encounter between two human beings. Anyone who thinks all people work the same way is completely delusional (or they’re lying to you to make you feel like they have all the answers.)
Whenever you match, flirt, or chat with someone new, what happens will depend on thousands of factors, many of which are completely outside your control. This is why meeting new people is so damn terrifying. A dating expert can adapt their conversation, manner, and approach depending on the situation and the person. It’s called ’emotional maturity’ and it’s a totally learn-able skill…but it takes practice.
2. Most dating and hook-up strategies only work due to the ‘placebo effect.’
What do I mean by that? I mean that none of them work because they’re actually any good; they work because having a plan gives you more confidence.
My local coffee shop is also the regular meeting spot for a local dating coach. He brings his clients in and gives them pep talks about revamping their Tinder profiles, what to say on the first date, and how to score at parties. He uses this system that’s all about channeling the vibe of different animals, depending on the situation: “Ready to close the deal? You’re a bear! Feel that power!”
Even absurd strategies, such as imitating wild animals, can sometimes work. When we feel self-conscious, anything that distracts us from our anxiety is going to help us function better – whether it’s pretending to be a tiger on the African Savannah, or thinking about our last knitting project. Having a plan is a bit like wearing your lucky underpants – it gives you a psychological edge, even if the threads themselves don’t make a difference.
Sorry if I’ve just ruined your fave pick-up strategy! I’m a fan of conquering anxiety by any means possible, so if it works for you then maybe that’s okay. But if you do decide to use a placebo, pick one that doesn’t make you look stupid or encourage you to act like an asshole.
3. Seeking quantity over quality is a loser’s game.
In my experience, a good lover isn’t someone who has a lot of sex; it’s someone who has REALLY GOOD sex, even if it’s less frequent. Getting laid a lot isn’t that enjoyable if you’re not spending time with people you actually like…you might be able to brag about it at the pub, but you’re going to be missing out on the really good stuff – connected, intimate dates with people that give a shit about you.
Some people try and have as much sex as possible to prove they measure up. But when you shift the focus from quantity to quality, you’ll start having better experiences. I’ll take that over bragging rights, any day.
4. Some people just find it really hard to get laid…and it’s not always their fault.
Most pick up artists are rich white dudes. They’re surrounded by fans, friends and sexy play partners. Sounds like an incredible lifestyle, right? I sure as hell aspire to flying around the world, with a centerfold model sitting next to me in first class while I talk about my best-selling book (it hasn’t happened yet, FYI.) Unfortunately, most people can’t rely on money, travel stories or a huge social circle. If you’re a bigger dress size than average, come from an ethnic minority, have autism, or anything else that means you don’t fit the ‘conventionally attractive’ stereotype, you might need to make more effort to score.
The long-term solution for this is for everyone to relax their idea of what ‘attractive’ actually means (dating someone just because they’re conventionally attractive is really fucking boring). The short-term solution is for you to find your niche. Whether you’re a gamer, on the spectrum, or just plain eccentric, seek out the people who ‘get’ you and will appreciate what you have to offer.
I’m a sex worker – it’s quite hard to find people who are okay with dating me, because they can’t deal with what I do for a living (they don’t know what they’re missing out on!) I’ve learned to spot the type of guy who’s open-minded enough to accept my choices. Until folks stop being judgemental, it’s something I’m going to have to deal with every time I swipe on Tinder.
5. Every time you get rejected, you’re also getting closer to picking up.
In macho culture, rejection is seen as a failure. Pick-up artists capitalize on this, telling us that guys who don’t get laid are losers. Tons of pick-up techniques are about overcoming rejection or trying to push past someone’s ‘no’ because accepting a ‘no’ is supposed to equate to failure. But I think that’s bullshit. Everyone gets rejected – it’s part of the process of finding the right people. Making people feel deficient just because they got a, ‘no thanks’ is stupid, because it happens to everyone.
It’s a bit like playing laser tag. I love this game because I grew up in the nineties! When you get tagged, you’re out of action for a minute or so (and you feel a bit silly.) When I started playing, my scores sucked because I spent the whole time hiding in a corner, afraid of being tagged out. But when I became braver and just got out there, I did better. Sure, I got tagged more often, but I also managed to score against the other players. Get the metaphor? When you’re making an effort – talking to and flirting with folks – you’re going to get rejected more often. It doesn’t mean you’re a loser. It means you’re making progress.
Rejection is useful. It frees you to move on from someone who isn’t right for you, towards someone who is. If you spend all your time avoiding rejection, your progress slows to a crawl because you spend ages pursuing people who are never going to return your interest. Take your hit and move on to a better prospect. That’s how you get somewhere.
If hearing ‘no’ is hard for you, check out this article on developing rejection resilience.
Being good at dating means dealing with the fact that there’s no five-step plan. Don’t believe the ‘experts’… and hang on to your wallet. Techniques and strategies aren’t the solutions! But the right attitude and a lot of practice can get you a long way towards becoming a hook-up champion.
September 08, 2020
No LynkSif